Regret
by Snow Tigra
Summary: Set after the manga, Sebastian is searching for another soul, but can only remember Ciel.


Title: Regret Author: Snow Tigra Series: Black Butler Author's note:  
>Takes place after the series and inspired by the song "Regret" by Glow. Manga based, I'm ignoring the anime, especially second season, for this fic. Obviously I don't own the song or the characters. I blame the plot bunny.<p>

The sound was the first thing that had caught his ear. A low, peaceful whine that drifted through the air like a breeze. The sound was almost colorful, in its tone, singing of innocence and beauty with a simple note held out before switching to another. Sebastian hadn't heard a sound like that in years, probably decades. Whatever his plans had been for that day, they changed as he shifted his direction and followed the beautiful music through the park. It was a warm day, the sun dancing through the trees and almost playing hide and seek behind the thousands of fire colored leaves which threatened to fall any day now. Sebastian had chosen a long black coat, still made of fine tailored fabric and a grey and red speckled scarf to hide himself amongst the humans. They never would have guessed that a demon was walking among them, they were just too caught up in themselves as always.

The sound lead him to an area of the park where he found a teenage boy, sitting on a rock. He was wearing the school uniform of the current day, black with deep red edges while it was buttoned over a plain white shirt. His hair was a dark black, looking almost purple in the scattered sunlight, while his eyes were closed and his body slowly swayed with the music. In his hands he held a violin, a beautiful piece of craftsmanship that spoke volumes of the maker as its music caressed the fall air.

Sebastian found himself leaning against a tree, his eyes closing as he listened to the sound and licked his lips a little hungrily. It had been almost a decade since he'd had a good meal. The last one had been a young male who was barely out of school, ready to step into one of those tall steel buildings which had recently started sprouting up like weeds across the world. He had been young and inexperienced, innocent in his own way as he focused more on his work and education then any human interaction. A single night in a bar and a bit too much to drink and it had almost been laughable how easily he'd followed Sebastian out the back door and into the alley. His soul had tasted of cinnamon with a hint of something citrus and Sebastian had enjoyed every last second of the young man's life.

Men like the last were easy to find. The world had become so busy, so manic, that there were always plenty of humans who had never quite stepped past their own bedroom - so to speak - and had no idea what a demon could entice them with. There were movies and books and magazines that hinted at such things but a demon who had lived as long as Sebastian always knew the right little kernel to lead them down the slippery slope. Then, before the night was over, they would freely offer him anything he wanted and not even consider the consequences. It was almost too easy, but that didn't stop the game from at least being amusing to play.

This boy though, was different. His innocence was almost palpable in the air. Sebastian could feel it intertwined with the music, twisting and turning as he willed it into something more, something better. This was a boy who had a goal, dreams and a purpose. He didn't see himself as normal and he held himself to a higher standard then most of the world. When he played his music it was alive, a living breathing entity that stirred and slithered around him, awakened by the dedication and life he breathed into it. Everything around him was touched by the music and everything around him reaked of his scent. Sebastian breathed in that smell and the sound, basking in it like a junky aching and anticipating.

This boy. No, he was one to be savored.

Like he had been.

The scent abruptly changed, a sour note meeting Sebastian's nose as one crossed his ear. He frowned as the boy suddenly noticed he was being watched and lowered the violin, looking over to meet Sebastian's eyes. The boy's eyes were blue, a deep ocean blue; just like his. Sebastian felt a small pool of rage in his stomach, swirling together and growing.

How dare this boy have his eyes. How dare he have eyes that even resembled the young master's. He didn't deserve them. He was too pure for such deep eyes to even be near him. Had he misjudged the sound, the movement, the scent? Was he wrong about the boy who was now standing in front of him? No, there was nothing worth that taste again.

Sebastian turned hastily, pushing away from the tree and walking fast enough for the scarf to loosen around his neck and untie itself. He wanted to be far away from that boy, walking fast enough to leave him and the memory behind. He could already taste the sour bite of regret in his mouth and he hated it. Perhaps he should start forcing himself to go after women. There was hardly a chance that they would remind him of the young master. But they were always so eager and the game wasn't nearly as fun when they practically stalked him to that dark corner. It wasn't really a game when the prey stomped willing to your door to offer themselves.

"Was that restraint? I wouldn't think you were capable of it."

Sebastian stopped in his step and looked back, turning to face the all too familiar voice. In retrospect he should have recognized the black suit and the severe glasses. Slicked back hair and an annoyed expression greeted him. How long had it been? A couple decades at least. At least his infuriatingly flamboyant partner was no where in sight. It wasn't possible for that ... thing to stay silent this long.

"William T spears. It has been a while." Sebastian smiled graciously at the stiff Shinigami and nodded his head in a smooth movement. In return the Shinigami simply adjusted his glasses and continued to glare at the demon he so completely despised.

"This is my district. You will refrain from engorging yourself in this area."

If only the Shinigami knew how long it had been since Sebastian had had a truly satisfying meal. Even now, Sebastian doubted that his meal had been so savory back then. Over a hundred years ago and he still remember the sweet taste of his young master's soul and how warm it had felt, before the memory had turn it sour and the regret had burned through him.

"You don't need to worry, I am leaving." Sebastian ignored William, not even waiting to hear his response as he turned and continued on his way. All he could think of now were those young, determined, blue eyes that would never age. That short, mouse colored hair that would never grow any longer. The pale skin that had long since decayed below the earth where he was surely buried. Sebastian found himself considering going back to devour the boy with the violin. Just to taste it again, even for a second, wouldn't that be worth the decades of remembering? Wouldn't that momentary bit of delicious bliss be the best way to escape for even a second from this sour and acidic taste? But no, he couldn't even enjoy that anymore. All it would do is remind him of the flavor he'd crafted for those year and which had turned out so perfect, and ended far too soon. No, such an act wasn't even worth it.

No matter what he ate now, who he feasted on, he would always taste that regret. It spoiled everything he crafted now. Everything he craved was tainted. Everything he used to long for always tasted rotten and diseased, because nothing compared to that single meal. He should have starved himself longer. Perhaps, if he had allowed the young master to live just a little longer, perhaps then it would have been enough to satisfy him forever. Perhaps another year? Maybe another decade? Maybe a full life? He would never know now. Instead he would always be reminded of that single meal and he would always regret ending it so soon.

Sebastian gave a weary smirk as he crossed the park and disappeared into the crowd of people. How ironic that he would be restrained by something as human as love. It wasn't a concept a demon would normally pay much thought to, but now he truly understood why humans held it in such high regard. He knew he would be saddled with this feeling forever and for the first time in his long life, forever did actually feel like an eternity.

End.


End file.
